SPORK

This is for day 6 of National Sketch Writing Month. It is a monologue, with the intention of taking this character into different beats.


                             SPORK
                   Hey everyone, My name is Spork. None
                   of you know me, but I am the younger
                   sister of Icelandic super-star
                   Bjork. When people hear that, they
                   usually make a lot of assumptions
                   and ask, "Why are you dressed so
                   normal?", "Why isn't your accent as
                   heavy?", "Do you collect things like
                   human heads or ride around in a car
                   that is an exact replica of your
                   face?" but then I usually just show
                   them my license and they believe me,
                   cause how many people have the last
                   name "Guomundsdottir" in the states.
                   Plus I kind of look like my sister,
                   so sometimes it doesn't even come to
                   that. I am speaking at the National
                   Association of Fast Food technology
                   conference today, because I, along
                   with you all, am celebrating the
                   15th anniversary of the spork. The
                   initial invention came as an
                   accident, like that of many great
                   things, when my sister and were
                   melting kitchen items to see what
                   happened. most of these were too
                   dangerous or too close to the
                   original, like the knladle, which is
                   a ladle with a knife as the handle,
                   or the panlate, which is basically a
                   plate melted into the inside of a
                   pan. But the spork was different. So
                   I took out a loan, and started
                   mass-producing these. After the
                   metal versions ended up sitting on
                   IKEA shelves for a few years, we
                   decided that the throw-away
                   lifestyle of the Americans would do
                   better with plastic, and luckily,
                   after approaching fast food chains,
                   so did they. That is the history of
                   the spark in a nutshell, and since
                   my process as a human is a creative
                   one, please enjoy this slideshow of
                   the invention and usage of sparks
                   worldwide, produced by me, and set
                   to an orginal song by my sister
                   titled "Bow Down To The Spork Lord
                   (Grand Prix Mix)."

         Actual slideshow presentation begins here, Spork remains on
         stage watching and reacting enthusiastically, similarly to
         how Bjork would react.

                             SPORK
                   Thank you so much people of the
                   technological fast food world. I
                   hope you enjoyed that as much as I
                   did. That concludes my presentation,
                   but come check out my gallery of
                   sporks, including ones decorated by
                   celebrities such as Michael Jordan
                   and Sting, in the lobby. Thank you.